It Should Have Been Me
by Stephanie18
Summary: Only PG because it's a little dark. Was there another reason why Ben did what he did? Was the Blue Lady just an excuse for what he really had going on in his mind?


It Should've Been Me!  
  
  
A/N: I just thought that maybe, deep down in Ben's mind there was the real reason that he began killing. This takes place at Manticore. It's a little dark and you can tell when he snaps. =)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ben stood proudly next to his bed. While Colonel Lydecker was inspecting the others, he took a glance to his side and looked at Max's bed and rolled his eyes. She was always messy and unprepared. She definitely wasn't CO material. He, however, was. He was the neatest and he liked to think he was the smartest and quickest. Sure, the others had their points, but none of them really compared.  
  
Ben straightened as Colonel Lydecker turned to inspect him. After a onceover, Colonel Lydecker gave a scruffy grunt.  
Ben tried hard not to smile ear to ear. That was approval. Real approval!  
  
Lydecker stepped into the middle of the room and cleared his throat. Ben perked up. This was the moment he would be declared CO and everyone would finally listen to him like he was the head honcho.  
  
"First," Lydecker said. Ben adjusted his hearing so he could hear every word of 'Ben is the CO.' perfectly. "I'm going to announce the Second In Command."  
  
Ben searched the room carefully as to not be caught. Jack seemed like a good choice. He was almost as good as Ben.  
  
"Your Second is... 452." Lydecker announced.  
  
Ben glanced at the messy girl beside him. He wondered how it was possible. Then he realized she had no real power unless he was unable to do his duties, but he would always be able to do his duties.  
Ben listened intently as Lydecker continued.  
  
"And now I will announce your Commanding Officer." Lydecker said. Ben tried to contain himself. "Your CO will be... 599."  
  
Ben was ready to give a nod, but then realized that his name was not said. A frown appeared on his face and he didn't bother to hide it. Surely it must have been a mistake. A grave mistake.  
  
"Alright then, soldiers." Lydecker said. "Off to eat breakfast. 599, lead the way."  
  
Zack ordered them into single file and Ben's face returned to the emotionless look of a Manticore soldier. As they filed down the hall, Ben thought of many ways to fatally wound Zack. Then Max would be promoted and he would be made Second. He could weasel his way into power after that. Max would be no match.  
  
Once everyone was seated, two woman came from the kitchen carrying their vitamins. Everyone got a small cup filled with different colored pills. Ben waited with the others as Zack, the CO, took his first. Ben bitterly thought of more ways to kill Zack as he swallowed his vitamins.  
  
Breakfast was served. The same gray porridge looking stuff. Ben never complained. A good CO set a positive example while doing everything. Ben watched as Zack wrinkled his nose at the mush and felt his ears grow hot. How dare he be chosen. Zack's bed was almost as bad as Max's. Colonel Lydecker must be ill. Ben decided to ask him after he was done with his breakfast.  
  
Ben neatly finished and lined his spoon up perfectly with the bowl, then looked up and his eyes widened at the state of Zack's dish. Zack took the last spoonful then placed the spoon right back in the dish. Much too sloppily. Ben glared, but no one noticed. He stood up quickly then marched to the door.  
  
"Soldier, where do you think you're going?" Zack called.  
  
"Over your head." Ben said. Then added bitterly, "Sir."  
  
Zack just turned back around and began to talk with Krit. Ben burned with rage as he slammed open the swinging door. It was only a short trip to Colonel Lydecker's office. Ben thought that maybe he should steal a 'Get Well' card from the Manticore gift shop, but then he realized the ridiculousness of that statement.  
  
Ben knocked on the office door and was greeted with a grunt that sounded like 'Come in.' Ben took a breath and twisted the knob.  
He expected to find Colonel Lydecker hunched in the corner, yapping about his clear mistake, but found him instead at his desk, peacefully filing the reports to make Zack and Max official.  
  
"What is 493?" Lydecker grunted.  
  
"I was wondering if you were feeling alright, sir." Ben said.  
  
"Of course I am." Lydecker told him.  
  
"Are you sure, sir? No fever, mild nausea perhaps?"  
  
"493, I'm as healthly as I've ever been." Lydecker said.  
  
Ben watched as Lydecker signed the papers and his stomach turned.  
  
"I'm not, sir." Ben said and rushed out of the office.  
  
Ben made it to the nearest bathroom and vomitted. Life seemed to be making him sick. He had read in a book (that he stole from a sleeping guard) that life was not fair. That, he discovered, was so true.  
  
  
  
That was the night of the seizure. Ben took the card of the magnificient Lady and decided that she would be his power. She would command him, not Zack. Anyone who truly believed in the Lady would surely understand that in order for him to be powerful forever, they would have to die.  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
